The HMSHostest with the leastest

Okay, so this takes big cajones. Buying a Penthouse magazine when you’re flying coach. That has to be one of the biggest investments that may never actually pay off until you’re home or in a hotel. You’re going to sit next to someone who disapproves, guaranteed. And if you’re not sitting next to someone who disapproves you’re suddenly sharing the moment with some pre-pubescent boy who’s mother will disapprove.


The next boldest thing (this sounds like a Taco Bell commercial, poorly written) is service employees expecting tips for poor service or, worse, expecting tips for performing their required duties.

We write about airport things so I’ll stick with the airport to give aim to this article, I’m not ranting about Alicia at Olive Garden and my empty breadstick basket.

Ever heard of HMShost? they’re big. If you know of them you know they’re big and if not here’s the ice-cream scoop. They’re not huge but big enough.

With over 26,000 employees, HMShost stocks a majority of airports with food services by purchasing franchises and placing lower wage workers into these establishments. The workers, then, work for a certain percentage of tips with their wages (excepting some small magazine stands) for their performance at the establishments.

HMShost, like all companies, is liable for having a handful of mediocre employees. In fact, it’s statistically impossible to get all good employees. But rapid expansion may have contributed to mediocre middle managers resulting in impoverished quality in terms of food preparation and service.

The real problem is, if you hadn’t heard of HMShost, you don’t care who is holding the franchise of various restaurant names. You care about the name. So that barista at Starbucks is a barista hired by a manager linked up to Starbucks HQ, but really only trained by Starbucks and hired by HMShost.

It is guaranteed that Starbucks and Chile’s Too and Wolfgang Puck all help train these various employees, but after training, after they’re in front of customers, these employees are children under step-mom’s supervision and step-mom is impartial to their quality of life and their performance.

In all honesty, if I were the head of customer relations for Starbucks or Chile’s Too, Dunkin Donuts and rest I’d be at a loss for words. Good service is becoming a huge rarity at these establishments, almost a joke in its own. In the end it reflects on the company at large, not the company that holds the franchise.

Rarely does anyone rave about airport food. There are certain expectations when it comes to paying $10 per meal and part of these expectations are coherency and a little smile, or something.

What is raved about are a couple of innovations, like being able to order your food from your gate via cell phone in Vancouver. Okay, that’s spiffy. Doesn’t mean the food’s better but less walking for more money could be sweet.

I don’t believe in personal experience as pinnacle of a good argument, in fact personal experience makes for a very bad argument. But I have witnessed poor service because of lack of tips in these establishments, short tempers, incoherences and overall general lack of concern for their work. Either something is wrong in the incentives department or the discipline department or both. The only problem is, people don’t care. Passengers are more worried about the fees they paid for their carry-ons or checked bags, they don’t care about the poor service in the Terminal.

They should, but they don’t.

This is to bring to your attention, though, that those people employed at airports are not always Starbucks employees, but more than likely some huge conglomerate that is leeching off the brand of others. You should bring your bad experiences to HSMhost, show them that you would really enjoy some kind good service with your food.

Sorry, I still want to play with the buying a porno for an American or United flight. What if the kid’s mom, the kid you’re having a moment while admiring some poor saps daughter, what if the mom is really cute? Do you ever think that the bonding between her kid and you won’t pay off in the end. Imagine that you get to know mom, that you guys like each other. And in the end, when the last stone is turned over, when your hand is forced at dinner over an empty basket of Olive Garden breadsticks, it comes to tlight that you and Jimmy were looking at Ms. August together, under the little personal lamps of an MD-80. Ha, that’s kind of funny.


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